"Cold showers are for psychopaths"

As the imaginary reader can see my blog doesn't look pretty at the moment, which is consequence to me deciding to change the appearance of it and pretty soon after that getting bored doing it, which leads to the fact it looks horrible. I hope the imaginary reader can forgive me.

I haven't been writing anything here or anywhere else for couple of months. After this week I have realised many things, come to understand some things and thought about, well, things. I could say I have seen the light, but probably more accurate expression would be that I have seen the black holes of this life. I've been reading quite a lot, some blogs, some books, some articles, and have come into a conclusion it's all a big scam. Of course I have known this for a long time, but knowing is not the same as realising. It's like being in a huge crowded room and seeing all the people but not really having a conversation with any of them particularly. When you go to a silent corner of the room and stop seeing everyone and instead you really see someone, a person, a human behind all the commotion. Then you can say you are paying attention, realising instead of passively knowing.

However, seeing the life as it is, the personal truth, is worth nothing to any other living soul than you. Sometimes you see a person (you most definately admire already) say something that opens your eyes. It's all lies though, and you're own individual thoughts and ideas do not exist. There's no need to get sad about this though, because we still have thoughts and ideas, we still have values and heroes and ideologies. If it's all based on a lie does it really matter? The counter argument is based on a lie as well.
I can't help it but I am quite extreme supporter of philosophical relativism. But I don't like pre-chewed theories, I got my own teeth for that. I think ideology is a matter of the number of habits and manners you have adopted. Without the daily routines we are anarchists!

Anyway, I don't have anything to say that anyone else but me would be interested in, so let's smoothly change the subject.
The long expected IAMX gig was a week ago, and I got no words to tell how huge it was. Without art there is no soul, and I feel like my soul is doing much better after seeing and feeling what I saw and felt.
I must say I fell in love with Janine Gezang. No kidding!